“How do I choose love if I hate myself?”, ‘Sherri’ (not her real name) asked me yesterday during her therapy session.
I said nothing but could feel my eyes soften and water slightly. (Who does not know that feeling?!)
She continued. “My stomach sticks out. I have a zit on my chin. The guy I hooked up with on Friday has not texted me back. He has posted stuff about other girls. All of them are prettier than I am. I feel like such a loser.”
In a recent magazine interview, Ashley Judd spoke about her role in the movie Divergent. Based on the book series, the film is about a society that divides people into five factions, each based on a different virtue. A decision has to be made at age 16 to remain in the faction one was born into or switch into another, for life.
Judd’s character is torn between two powerful forces: The desire to belong, and the desire to be an individual.
Judd describes her true life struggle with the very same tension, especially during adolescence.
I was listening to a TED Radio Hour on happiness recently. The host, Guy Raz, asked his guest, musician Pharrell Williams, to reveal the secret to happiness.
Williams was perplexed.
Here is what he said: “I’m not some guy who’s walking around smiling every day. We all have our ups and downs, lefts and rights, and diagonals.”
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
~Mary Anne Radmacher
I learned about the concept of courage when I was about six. I saw The Wizard of Oz. The Poor Lion! He couldn’t get out of his own way.
Lions are supposed to be brave. This Lion was not brave. He was filled with fear.
The Lion reminds us that no matter how powerful or great people are, they too have fears.
We all have fears that prevent us from advancing toward our potential.
The Lion thought that he would find courage in the Land of Oz.
We may recognize that we too look outside of ourselves to find courage.
(Like reaching for ‘liquid courage’, aka alcohol)
Everyday we all display courage, and we may not even know it.
I like Winston Churchill’s definition: How does thinking of yourself as COURAGEOUS affect your sense of yourself?
Welcome to my Blog
Here I get real on body image, eating, sex, yoga and more. Sometimes the topics are more random. All relate to psychology (after all, I am a psychologist!) --Dr.D