Embracing your Inner Sex Goddess is a tall order. Especially if all you can think about is how disgusting your stomach looks and how fat your thighs are.
For sure, negative thoughts running through your head provide a lousy set up for foreplay or any kind of sexually satisfying experience – for you both.
Here are five ways your body image woes impact your sex life.
The most powerful ‘sex organ’ is your brain. Your own thoughts and feelings about your body and your relationship with your body are what determine sexual satisfaction.
The key is not what you look or weigh. More moans of pleasure are available by addressing negative beliefs and thoughts your own brain generates. The only person who can do that for yourself is YOU.
Is Wabi-sabi the same as Wasabi, the horseradishy condiment?
Wabi-sabi is an ancient Asian philosophy centered on simplicity. It focuses on acceptance of life as is. It celebrates the beauty of things that are imperfect, temporary, and incomplete. It finds beauty in things that are modest and humble and unconventional. It is present-oriented. It is the embrace and reverence for imperfection. It is the joy of flaws. It is nature and humanity, connected and real.
“To the Bone”, a recently released Netflix movie, has generated discussion on the topic of eating disorders. The New York Times reviewed this movie. Anything that promotes awareness is a plus.
The movie itself is no Academy Award winner. It reminds me of an after school special from the 1980s.
In a separate blog I will review the movie. For this blog, I have only one message.
How many times have you said, or heard others say, they want to develop a habit or get rid of one?
Habits such as going to bed earlier, consuming less alcohol, exercising more often, or saving more money each month are examples of habits people tend to deem worth having. Habits like driving too fast, eating late at night, excessive spending, or interrupting people when they speak are examples of habits more likely considered worth losing.
Today is the birthday of the guy who invented the graham cracker. His invention of the graham cracker wasn’t for the creation of S’mores, or for dunking in milk. In fact, the dude created graham flour, which later turned into graham crackers, with the hope of killing the sex vibe among teens and adults. He thought peeps needed to be sexually tamed because they were ADDICTED to sex, gluttony, and all things material.
The year? 1830...
Chant to come?
Yoga is not just for the svelte, green tea-drinking, virtuous types. We can all benefit from down dogging it, even from the comfort of a chair. Chair yoga is a real thing. As a famous yoga master said, “If you can breathe, you can do yoga”.
The whole purpose of yoga is to unify. That is what the word ‘yoga’ means – to yoke, or bring together. Yoga brings together the mind, body, and the deeper aspects of Self called spirit.
There are at least a thousand benefits of doing yoga. One benefit of a regular yoga practice is better sex. The way yoga affects sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm has actually been scientifically studied. It is a tough job, but someone has to do it…
Feel the soothing breeze?
See the gorgeous blue sky and billowy clouds?
Smell the delish salty air? Can you just about taste it?
Hear the sound of the sea?
If you said yes to any of these, thank your body!
Happiness. Ahhh. The elusive pursuit. “I just want to be happy!” say friends, family, and strangers. Magazine headlines, book titles, websites, FB posts, BLOGS (hello!) – all promise happiness. “Do this!” and you will be happy, the lists say. Advertisers suggest that if you use their product, you too will be happy (and beautiful, and successful, and fill-in-the-blank). I have been thinking of what not to do in order to increase the likelihood of feeling happy. The bottom line, regardless of the type of list:
There is only one person in life who can create your happiness: YOU
Here are ideas of happiness “DO NOTs”:
“All deliberate change first comes from denying the logic that most gives you comfort”
What is Mike Dooley, the author of the quote, saying?
My take is that he is reminding us that change is hard, and that we tend to take our thoughts as fact, especially when those thoughts have become automatic.
It is easy to convince ourselves with rationalizations. We convince ourselves with the familiar comfort of certain logic, even if it leads to maladaptive decisions.
Let’s say “Sara” wants to establish a workout schedule. Her goal is to exercise in order to feel more energized in her body. She decides on the third day, though, that it is really too cold to go for a walk. Rather than challenge that logic by asking herself, for example, if there is some other activity–perhaps indoors–she could do for exercise, or dress in clothing that will keep her warm, she convinces herself that it really is too cold to work out.
How do YOU know when you are rationalizing, allowing yourself to be deceived by your own convincing logic?
My patients and friends tell me they ‘can’t meditate’.
When I ask why they believe this, they often say things like:
“Because my mind is too…… (fill in the blank: active, crazy, wild, busy)”
“Because it is BORING!”
or something like
Welcome to my Blog
Here I get real on body image, eating, sex, yoga and more. Sometimes the topics are more random. All relate to psychology (after all, I am a psychologist!) --Dr.D